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Do you bend or break when times are hard?

I have recently been on a resilience course.  I believe that I am actually a pretty resilient person - I reckon that a lot of women are.  But I was intrigued by the course - when times are difficult, it is hard to know how strong you are going to be and how you will cope with a challenging situation.  

So, where does resilience come from?  It looks at how much self belief we have, how much we are able to manage our emotions.   It looks at whether we have a positive or negative outlook, at how proactive we are, looking for solutions rather than letting a situation drag us down.  It's all about looking after your wellbeing, learning to relax and allowing some time for yourself. 

 Even when times are hard there will be good things happening, and my course suggested that we write down 3 good things that have happened to us each day.  You may have enjoyed a walk or a coffee with a friend, it could be that you chatted to your neighbour or you had your hair done.  When times are difficult it is so easy to become caught up in the negative, but in fact good things are happening all around us.   The course suggested living in the moment - learning mindfulness where you can just sit outside for a moment or two and enjoy the sounds, smells and feel of things happening around you.  It talked about setting yourself goals, small steps at a time, aiming for a gradual move to more positive times.   I am not an expert in this field, but it all makes sense - aiming to think positively and considering ways to move forward with life seems the obvious thing to do. Psychology Today and Mind both talk about resilience in more detail.

We need resilience on a daily basis. It helps us to stay strong and get the most out of our lives, but we particularly need it when we are faced with a change in our lifestyle.  Our togetherfriends members often join our site after a life change such as retirement, bereavement, kids leaving home, a house move, divorce or having a baby, and they all need resilience to adapt to the changes that face them.  They join us to make new friends, and you have to be resilient to even do this, to be determined to get out there and meet other women like themselves.

If you feel that you need to build on your resilience,  write a plan - which bits of your life do you want to change or adapt to, and think of ways how you can make this happen! 

And remember to write down your 3 good things that happened today! 

My 3 good things today:

  •  I went for a swim
  •  I pottered in the garden
  •  I sat by the river at dusk listening to the birds singing

And if one of your aims is to make more friends, come and join us at togetherfriends!